On sex parties (no keys required)

Fun fact for old people!
Most people don't even know who
Chachi is anymore or why Joanie
loves him.

Did you know Optimus Prime died 24 years ago? It's true! The Transformers animated movie came out in 1986 and featured Optimus Prime's death. You know what else happened in 1986? I was born. What's the connection? Absolutely nothing, but I like reminding some of my older readers that they're old.

So old in fact that I've noticed a strange thing happening with my friends. A few of them have started getting married or having children or buying a house or participating in other activities I normally associate with actual adults.

This concerned me quite a bit today when I realized that these activities could lead to me being invited to my very first sex party.



Now I know what you're thinking - this involves my keys and a fishbowl at some point - but truth be told that's not the kind of sex party I'm afraid of. If only that were the case. Instead it turns out a growing number of couples are having parties to announce the sex of their baby. It's like a second bridal shower except you don't know what the gender is going to be ahead of time so you end up buying only yellow gifts so you don't have to take everything back to Wal-mart and deal with some minimum wage slave who for some reason thinks I'm trying to pull the wool over Wal-mart's eyes by trading a $9.99 blue pajama suit for a pink one at 1am because I assumed the line for the returns section would actually be empty at that time.

Ok I can understand how that last statement may sound crazy but come on. Now I'll be perfectly honest and admit that I'm actually very happy for my married and/or child-bearing friends but this is taking it a step too far. A whole party dedicated to the gender your child will be? Ok parents, I think I need to send you a message from all of your single friends in the next paragraph.

Hi parents welcome to this paragraph. Comfy? Good. Now here's something you need to hear. All of your single friends have asked me to convey this message to you in the nicest way possible. We don't care what gender your baby will be. Please don't be offended, it's not to be mean. But it makes no difference to us if you're having a boy or girl. We will say "Congratulations!" either way. I've yet to meet a person who said "Seriously Jim, a girl!?! How could you?".

Now don't get me wrong I'm totally cool with the baby shower - it's a great way to help a parent - but I'm drawing the line at this shit.

What do you think of the baby sex party? Is it excessive or are you happy to celebrate the gender of your friends' children with them?