On making notes

Your handwriting is like the meanderings of a drunken spider.

My ninth grade geography teacher told me that. Honestly. Yet despite his accurate observation I've always been a fan of writing in notebooks when working on anything creative. Laptops are too impractical for me. They need to be charged, they can't be in the sun, they get hot and burn your nuts while possibly sterilizing your semen, etc. That's too much bullshit for me. But one advantage laptops do have is the ability to easily back up your work.


I recently misplaced my notebook on a visit to Ontario to visit family and friends. I've been working on a screenplay (who isn't) and I had been jotting down notes from the trip to take home to write out fully. When I got home and found myself without my notebook I panicked. Even though I recognize that right now, as a whole, the thoughts in the notebook are useless the idea of losing the entire book was crushing. All the hours I put into what was written and the notes I had stored in there could not be returned. Mainly because I have a piss poor memory. So immediately I began contacting everyone I thought could have it. I'll be honest, this part of the story isn't very interesting. Turns out I just left the notebook in my parents' kitchen and they mailed it back up to me.

I received it today and immediately cracked it open to see what I had written. To see what I would have lost forever had I left the notebook on the bus or at the annual book burning rally. The following was the first note I saw.

"Drunk" lady on patio - "I can see your pussy lips from here."

.... Have you ever felt as if you've tricked yourself into thinking you're smart? As if deep down you always knew you were an idiot but you never had proof? It's like the end of the Planet of the Apes except it turns out I'm the ape. There are so many questions I'm asking myself right now. For example, why is drunk in quotations? Can someone see her pussy lips or can she see someone elses? Is the viewing of said pussy lips good or bad? How far away are these pussy lips? How many times can I write pussy lips before it becomes offensive?

It got me thinking about how other people write or what they write about. I recently asked a friend if she wrote at all and she told me she wrote out the lyrics of songs that fit her particular mood. It was such an odd idea to me but made total sense to her. It was just what she chose to write. If you're reading this I wonder if you write. What do you write about? Do you write by hand or by keyboard? Do you keep notes? What's your most confusing note to yourself? I'd love to know.