On flying kites in Toronto

Have you ever been walking through a park and found a piece of string caught in the bushes or hanging from a tree? Me neither. But apparently if you do see these strings they come from a practice called "Kite Fighting", where two nerds battle for air supremacy by trying to cut the strings of competitors' kites with their own. I'm pretty sure we won't be seeing highlights of this grueling sport on TSN any time soon but that doesn't mean the sport doesn't have it's followers. So many followers that the City of Toronto has placed a ban on flying kites in Milliken Park. Anyone caught flying a kite will face a fine of $100 dollars. Their reason is the strings are affecting local wildlife and maintenance workers who don't have the municipal budget to afford scissors.

Toronto - tough on litterers.

How the Hell did this happen? Well, I like to assume the conversation in City Hall happened like this:

"It seems there's been a problem with strings being found in Milliken Park. Thoughts?"

"Apparently Milliken Park has become a kite fighting hotspot, like a super lame fight club, so we should just ban flying kites there!"

"But what about the fact that kite flying is not illegal, or that it's ok to fly kites in every other park in the city? How about instead of a placing a new ban on flying kites we enforce the current ban on littering? That way we can also use it to enforce all types of littering and not just the strings."

"Fuck that I like the stupid idea more."


The second guy may or may not be Mayor Miller.

Now don't get me wrong, I love Toronto and I miss the city dearly. But why is it every time I read a story about Toronto City Hall it's always some ridiculousness such as this. Just once I want to read "City of Toronto approves something sensible" or "City of Toronto has stopped it's stupid bullshit".


I guess I can always dream.